TIPPING is not a city in China

To Insure Proper Service. That’s what the acronym “tips” stands for. In my travels I’m constantly tipping folks. More out of social grace than actual “insurance” or delight.
There are some people that don’t understand tipping. And I’m here to educate them. I want to start a movement to tip those who do the most for us. To move that money from those industries that expect it and don’t work for it to those thankless workers who do work that we don’t want to.
Let’s begin with the number one receiver of tips. Wait staff at restaurants. Anyone who’s worked in one knows that it’s hard work. I tip 20% when I get good service. But I have to admit, the service can be just “okay” and I’ll still give 20% because my niece is a waitress and makes $5.00 an hour and has rent to pay and eats Ramen noodles dry with peanut butter on them. Here’s the part I don’t understand. Most restaurants will add an 18% gratuity if your party has six people or more. Is that because these groups usually end up dividing the check and nobody can do math and the waiter gets the shaft? I would love to know the origin of that custom.
Second most tipped industry (in my experience), cab drivers. Standard is 10%. Half the time they don’t open my car door and 100% of the time their car either smells like barf or cigarettes or grease or some combination thereof. They drive like maniacs, often while talking on THEIR cell phone. They charge a wad and yet it is considered bad form to not hand them at least 10% of the fare. If it is to “insure proper service,” shouldn’t you tip them ahead of time? “I would really like to arrive alive please.”
Or, we could demand a better experience by simply saying “I’m sorry, your car has not been washed since you bought it in 1977 and I think I’m going to barf so I will give you nothing.” Hopefully paving the way for future standards of cab cleanliness.
Now let’s talk about those unsung heroes of the service world who are not on the top ten people to tip list. My list would included folks like grocery store baggers that carry your groceries out to your car in the rain. My Vietnamese pedicurist that is probably only making her tips as a wage and is doing the work that quite frankly I do not want to do. The gas station attendant (in the state of Oregon where it is illegal to pump your own) who stands in the rain with their hand on the nozzle watching the numbers roll around to make sure I get quick service. Those high school kids working at the car wash that aerobically wipe the water from your car at the end so you won’t have water spots. And my number-one-most-undertipped-most-important-service-person-worthy-of-BIG-tips:
Housekeepers at hotels. Sure, occasionally you get that annoying tap tap tap with the credit card key on your hotel door before you’re ready for them. But that’s usually your fault for not putting out the DND sign. But let’s face it, there is no one more deserving of a tip than these folks. I mean, they are cleaning your funk. More importantly they are cleaning the funk of the person BEFORE you so you don’t have to see their funk. I give maids $5.00 a day. If we all gave them $5.00 a day,and the average hotel floor has 30 rooms — that’s $150.00 a day or $750.00 a week!! Roughly $36,000 a year on top of the $10,712.00 a year (based on minimum wage average) that the greedy hotel owners are forced to pay.
Just think — the people who insure your vacation or business trip is pleasant could actually take a vacation. Pay it forward man.

Krusty Kreme

The late Peter Drucker said, “It is not necessary for a company to grow bigger. It is necessary for it to grow better.” If only Krispy Kreme had listened to him.
I first tasted a Krispy Kreme donut 6 years ago on a business trip to South Carolina. I had never even heard of a Krispy Kreme. After a day of strategic planning and an over-priced dinner at a resort, my client was driving me back to my room when we passed this big bright neon sign for Krispy Kreme. “What’s that?” I asked. She almost killed us making a U-Turn on the four lane divided highway. “Are you kidding?” she screamed. ‘You HAVE to have some!’ I protested (having just consumed too much rich food and wine) but she wouldn’t hear of it. I could take them back to my room and have them for breakfast but I MUST try one bite tonight — while it’s fresh. She was adamant that I have the freshest experience. We drove through (it was 11:00 at night) and as she placed this warm box of six perfectly glazed donuts in my lap I was overcome by the smell. The perfect blend of sugar sweet and warm grandma love. I carefully pulled a delicate cloud of a donut out and took a bite. Almost immediately I felt the sensation of perfectly cooked dough that began to melt in my mouth surrounded in the thinest layer of glaze. I was hooked.
By the time I flew home the next morning, all six donuts were gone. A year passed and I heard that they were opening a Krispy Kreme in the Portland area (my home town in Oregon). It was all over the news. Traffic was backed up, they had coverage by helicopters to show the masses that were lining up to experience a doughnut!!
“If you do what you love, the money will come.” Gordon Oakshott, a friend of mine said that to me many years ago. Vernon Rudolph believed that too. Vernon bought a secret yeast-raised recipe from a French chef in New Orleans and began selling Krispy Kremes in 1937. He was so obsessed with perfection and consistency he invented and built his own doughnut making equipment. Later he proudly displayed it in his stores so people could watch them come off the line fresh AND created a big red neon light that went on to signal to folks that a fresh batch was coming off the line. It was all about freshness loving perfection.
Then Vernon died in 1973. In 1976 the company was sold to Beatrice foods. In 1982 a small group of Associates bought the company back from Beatrice and took it public. That’s when the brand started to die. An obsession with growth and profit took over and killed Vernon’s obsession with quality and freshness. In my opinion, KK died because of two simple words. Gas station.
The first time I saw a box of Krispy Kreme’s in a gas station I realized their brand was doomed. It has gone the way of corporate greed. Nothing says Krap like a donut in a gas station. That’s the kind of food you’ll eat out of sheer desperation — not love.
Krispy Kreme is Kurrently blaming their fall from grace (stock peaked at $50 per share and is trading around $8 today) on the AtKins Kraze. Are you Kidding? If only AmeriKans were that Krazy about health — we wouldn’t Kall the latest diet a Kraze.