1984 Meets 2001

I don’t know for sure, but I think GM is having a difficult time getting their demographic to embrace the On-Star technology. I imagine I am their target audience. I just bought a new Saturn fully equipped with On-Star features. I have not read the manual they gave me, nor opened their emails, nor returned their phone calls.

So the other day, I was leaving a meeting downtown and I was driving in a parking garage, suddenly, my music stops and a voice on my radio says, “Ms. Storm”?

What the heck? I say to myself. To her I say, “yes?”

“This is Deloris from on-star. We noticed that you have not activated your account. Would you like to do it now?”

I pulled over because I was too freaked out to drive.

“Um, no. I am driving” I say to her.

“Most people do it while they are driving” she replied.

“I’m not that talented. I’ll have to do it later.”

“My system shows that you are stopped now. Can you do it now?”


“Deloris, how do I make you go away?”

“Just push the little button on your rearview mirror, Mrs. Drummond”

“OK. Thanks”. Hit button.

I don’t want to learn a new piece of technology. I am having a hard enough time keeping up with what sits on my desk at work, let alone my cell phone, TiVo, children’s DVD players and the new fangled coffee maker. I just want to keep things simple.

But alas, On-star now has me signed up as an $18 a month card carrying member. How did they do it? Sheer brilliance.

One evening our phone rings. A pleasant female voice asks, “is Dave there?” I hand the phone to my husband and hear this end of the conversation, “no? Really? Cool! No, I didn’t know that. Wow. Sweet. Yeah, I’ll sign her up.”

Now, when I get into my new Saturn, I can tell my car, “dial Denise” and it will call my good friend Denise Wymore. I feel just like David Hasselhoff in Night Rider (without the freakish international cult following).

I don’t know for sure, but I suspect the pleasant voiced woman who called my husband a few nights ago used the Knight Rider reference as her opening remarks to him.

Now that is knowing your demographic.

Note: Shari Storm is the mother of two beautiful girls with a third (word on the street is it’s a boy) on the way. She is the Chief Marketing Officer for Verity Credit Union in Seattle, Washington and is one of my very dear friends and a fabulous traveling companion.