Three words.
Miss. America. Pageant.

slide_887_15431_largeLast night I was working out in a hotel gym and it came on one of the many TVs that are meant to distract us while we emulate gerbils running on a wheel.

The show began with all 52 contestants wearing jeans and t-shirts. My how the pageant has changed. They narrowed it down to the top 15 with the usual showings by New York, California and Florida (Miss Texas didn’t make it).

Then came the swimsuit competition. Wow. No longer must they wear the pageant issued modest black one-piece. Now, apparently they can go “Sport Illustrated” cover style. In fact, each woman began in a three-way mirrored type pedestal. The only thing missing was the greased up pole for them to sling around. I’m sure they’ll add that next year.

The music, the turns, the looks…..soft core porn.

Miss America. She represents “us” to the world.

When Hilary Clinton ran for president, more people criticized her pantsuits than her politics. She wasn’t “sexy” enough. Sara Palin was plenty sexy – some even said she was the “hottest” politician ever, but apparently that meant she was also dumb. Pretty can’t be smart, right? I never heard a reporter ask how much Joe Biden’s2008-miss-america-pageant-1 suits cost, or “what he was wearing.” I’m just sayin’.

Don’t get me wrong – these ladies are lovely and smart and the Miss America Organization made available more than $45 million in cash and scholarship assistance to ANYONE willing to put on a bathing suit and prance around on stage. Isn’t there a better way to help women get an education?

This was Miss America’s 88th year. I think it’s time to stop. Time for a change. You think Obama can take care of this?

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