It arrived. Our free range, locally grown, tom turkey. Weighing in at a whopping 28 pounds! To quote Richard Dreyfuss in the groundbreaking movie Jaws upon first setting eyes on the great white:

“We’re gonna need a bigger boat (roasting pan).”

I consulted the classic Betty Crocker cookbook for recommended roasting time. Her helpful guide stopped at 22 pounds. We had to do math.

You know how they recommend you “pat the skin dry with paper towels” to ensure a crisp crust? Well, we decided a roll of paper towels couldn’t dry this beast – so we resorted to this:

(shot on an iPhone 4 and edited in iMovie)

Happy Black Friday.